Applause, but why is this taking so long?

So I don't think they planned it to happen for the start of Toronto's Pride week, but yesterday New York State became the largest state in the union to allow LGBT couples the basic right that EVERYONE else has had (although it may only be L/G, I'm not sure about the B/T until I read the bill).

Sound the applause.  But it begs the question, why is this taking so long? It was last summer that a California court struck down that state's anti-same sex marriage act in one of the best examples of bullet-proof reasoning by the presiding judge. 

The slow march towards equality for my friends and neighbours is quite frustrating to watch.  And even in this city and country where I live there are frustrations that crop up (like a mayor who doesn't think participating in one of the city's largest events justifies sacrificing some family time for what everyone else considers a mayoral duty).

Sometimes having patience and taking the long view of things is very tiring.  This morning I'm relating this news from New York, and my reaction to it, to how I'm feeling and dealing with my latest injury.  Yes, it is getting better (I think), but it's hard to tell some times, is often painful and why is it taking so long to heal? Sometimes when you are going through something painful it's hard to tell if things are getting better, or to have the patience required to be happy about whatever progress you are making.

But if you want to read about a real struggle, and the courage of everyday life, please take a look at my friend's brilliant blog about her journey through breast cancer. It will make you weep, and laugh and take great pride in what she has been able to do.

Whiskey and Cigarettes

I must admit that I no longer listen to commercial radio, and so am completely out of the loop in terms of music trends and sound. I am now completely dependent on my children to let me know what is actually 'current'.

How sad, as I used to have such a wide appreciation for musical genres -- which I still do, but absent anything new. Until I came across this lovely lady, ADELE, who has become one of my faves, and restored my faith in new music. Of course, she kind of has an old sound, but that's not the point.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qemWRToNYJY



How do I describe why I like this -- whiskey and cigarettes. That's what I think of when I hear or see her sing. I've never smoked, but loved spending time in dark smoky bars listening to bands and singers work a room -- which is another thing I don't do much of these days. This woman's emotional range in her songs is visceral.

For me she embodies Etta James, Janis Joplin and all the best bluesy singers to have come before her. And it seems that live she sounds exactly like on record, which to me is a true mark of talent.

What more could you ask for then listening to melancholy music, brilliantly sung with the lights down while sipping whiskey (I'll avoid the cigarettes, but she smokes which has done wonders for giving her voice just the right amount of rasp...)

I hope she continues to make wonderful music for years to come (so maybe she should give up the cigarettes at some point.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiMK9e0h6YE&feature=related

And it begins again...

Another very special black belt ceremony has come and gone, with tears, smiles and joy shared amongst an incredibly loving community. I am very proud of the accomplishments of the group of people who have completed a very long and arduous stage of their martial arts journey. And now the next stage begins...

The next one is filled with uncertainty; it starts with the question "Now what?". The simple answer is not an answer, but a question -- what do you want it to be?

That is one of the hardest, but most beautiful parts of this experience: it is unique, demanding and dependent on the motivation of the student. I have been really happy to see the last few groups who have gone through the black belt experience stay reasonably intact, and dedicated to growing as individuals while giving back to the community around them.

I am so looking forward to seeing how these guys do, and how they answer the questions posed to them.

Congratulations to all of them, and thank you to them as well. They have helped me learn a great deal about myself, and that is a debt that is very hard to repay.

Achievement

I have been particularly blessed recently. Every year I get to participate in a triumph of the spirit. This year I invested heavily in the group that would be testing for black belt at DeSantos. It was really the first time in my tenure at the club where I have felt more like a teacher and mentor to a group rather than an experienced training partner.

I deeply appreciate everything that these people did for me this weekend -- they gave it their all, and made me believe in my own abilities as an instructor and guide. Even more importantly I saw the spark take hold in many of them - the spark of wanting to share what they were feeling with others, and the blossoming sense that by giving back they will be fulfilled.

Every year I get very emotional witnessing these events. This year was no different. Perhaps now they understand a bit better the message I conveyed last year. I can't wait to see the effect all of this has.

Congratulations to all for all that they did. I feel truly blessed to have shared it with them.

Oh, and fair warning to those getting their first degrees this year: if you train diligently, you will be able to qualify for second degree when I go for my third in 2013. What fun!

Getting what you want and being happy

Cerebus: Most Holy will bless your child and teach you a valuable lesson about life at the same time

Cerebus: Bless you

SHRIEK

Cerebus: The valuable lesson is that you can get what you want and still not be very happy....

I certainly believe that I have a rather dark sense of humour. But in addition to finding this particularly funny (and from a great series of Graphic Novels) I found myself thinking about this in the wake of some of the bigger news items of the day recently.

Here in Canada, we have had an extraordinary election. For the first time since Confederation, the Liberal Party has failed to either become the government, or the official opposition. The New Democratic Party, for the first time in its history has won enough seats to take that position, and the Conservative Party, for the first time in its current incarnation has won a majority. Why do these events make me turn to this memory of a twenty year old comic book? Partly because that's just the way I think, and partly because I think the lesson Cerebus is teaching is appropriate to our current situation:

The NDP wanted to win, and has wanted to move out of its traditional role as the third party alternative in Canadian politics that it has held almost since its inception. It got its wish, but the cost of its victory is the election of a Conservative majority, which will likely guarantee that none of the priorities the NDP holds dear will ever come close to being enacted over the next four years. (thus getting what they want, but ultimately being unhappy)

While I've always found myself leaning towards the party, and often vote that way depending on who is running in my riding, my trouble with them is that they have never seemed to me to be serious about governing -- they are quite content to cajole, provoke, oppose and propose alternative ideas, but never with any hope of actually governing. In our system, the party in opposition isn't supposed to be happy with coming in second -- it's supposed to be the government in waiting, and offer citizens a reasonable alternative to the party in power. I'm interested in seeing how the NDP reacts to its new role.

The Conservatives wanted a majority. They got it, but I think their unhappiness is going to come from the fact that there are now more voices internally who are going to expect to be heard and considered -- not something the party has been very good at recently, or has shown any real track record at fostering. They need look no further than the Liberals to see what kind of strife can ensue from this development, and the catastrophic results that often occur.

I've never voted Conservative because I've never found them able to resolve their inherent contradiction: they want a small government, so they cut taxes (to deprive the government of revenue for spending); they then spend more then they take in, because it costs money to deliver the services people want, and a government needs to deliver those things if it wants to stay in power. They then wonder why a deficit has occurred but are unable ideologically to consider a diverse way of coping with it.

In other news, but related to my point: in the US, people are celebrating the death of Osama bin Laden. I understand the sentiment, but have found myself unable to share it. His death doesn't roll back the clock. His death doesn't do away with extremism. His death, while well-deserved (and well executed by any measure), does not resolve the pain of the lives who were affected by him. His death may have been a just act, but I cannot rejoice in it. I can't be happy that he was killed. Satisfied, but not happy.

My hope is that (as my hero, Jon Stewart says) his face will no longer be the one people think of when they think 'Muslim'; instead, I trust it will be the faces of the brave people who are writing, protesting, fighting and dying for freedom in their countries -- so that they can enjoy a day when, like me, they wake up to a peaceful transitition of power brought about by an engaged citizenry.

And then they can ponder, like me, how you can get what you want and still not be very happy...

What Does it Take to Bring People Together?

Commitment, hard work and a willingness to surrender yourself. The group that is going to be testing for their black belts at our school in three weeks is going down to Niagara on the Lake for a weekend of team building.

While the idea that the black belt test at our school is more than an individual assessment of your performance as a martial artist is long entrenched at DeSantos, the time we take to help the group that is testing together bond has definitely taken on a different quality in the last few years.

Partly this is just the chance brought by opportunity -- our master now has access to a property down in NOTL that works really well as a retreat for the group for the weekend. We do all kinds of fun things to help them get to know each other, and to de-stress them. But still help them to develop the focus and mental strength necessary for what they are about to do.

more on this later...

Simple Things

I often tell my students that what I teach them is simple, but not easy. Often, martial arts is about a quest for simplicity, but this is actually quite hard.

One of the first things a student at our school learns is how to bow, then how to tie their belt, then how to line up for the start of class. Each of these things is simple, but often executing them properly (especially under stress) can be the hardest thing in the world.

Too often I find that the world confuses simple and easy. People want to change their lives, but want it to be easy. Change is hard, but it is actually quite simple. It starts with a decision to change, and follows with a commitment to do the work necessary. And then it often requires the frighteningly simple, yet utterly terrifying step of asking for help.

I try not to proselytize about the effect of martial arts on your life, but identifying the difference between simple and easy is one of the best things I've learned from my years of training.